Mr. Right-are you Online? Part I

Posted by Tabitha 

I'm pretty sure I'm one of the first in my group of friends to start dating online, or at least willing to talk about the way I would talk about how my day was. Hmm, that might make me the Mae West of online dating, I'm thinking. Yeah, I'll wear that title.

With that being said, let us begin with Part I of my online dating experience. Oh, and just like Mae West said:



"It's hard to be funny when you have to be clean."

However, I will do my best. 


I started on Criagslist right before my 28th birthday.  Who knew that on craigslist not only could  one find a vintage purse, but also an uninitiated man who thinks any woman would like to see a unsolicited picture of his manhood. Needless to say, I didn't last on craigslist very long. Especially after my friends stopped appreciating the surprise pictures I would send them of my new acquaintances and their packages.  



Yes, men...we do this. The difference is you aren't Brett Farve, so I highly doubt you'll have a penalty to pay. 


I then ventured onto Match.com then later Eharmony.com. Actually, I attempted  Eharmony first, but after what seemed like days upon days of questions by the site I grew restless and bored and moved onto Match.com instead.

As of today, I am on Plentyoffish.com., which is a free dating website. After some of the dating disasters I've had I just couldn't believe I was paying money to have these experiences.  It made me feel cheap.

Hmm, in retrospect perhaps it was worth the money for blogging material. 




Ok, so for those of you who haven't tried online dating, or are too ashamed to admit it (hello, it's 2011 people. Oh, but I'm not judging.) let me walk through a quick online dating set-up:

The first step is setting up a profile. This is the ME, ME, ME part; however it is not the "hopes and dreams" section, ladies.  It's the short, sweet and simple section. This is where I engage a man just enough to contact me AFTER he has looked at my pictures for his approval. Now, it took me some time to learn the tricks of the trade on my profile; however after having a oh so clever friend helped me, I believe I finally nailed it. Apparently, in her words my profile was better suited to attract a woman. Yup, that is when wit and K.I.S.S. entered my online dating life.

Speaking of pictures-SO vital to the online dating experience. 

It's called Window Shopping and we need to just deal with that shallow reality.  


Pictures MUST be current. I mean, current as in weeks or days old and I even include the date as a backup. Also, full body pictures are a must. I am the self-proclaimed queen of the "kissy face", "facebook profile picture" or "look how hot I am from this angle" picture, but a full body picture is imperative no matter what. The last time I was called "skinny" was when I was perhaps 21 years old, therefore I need my date to know he is getting a woman with curves. Picture frauds are the worst, believe me. 


So, what am I looking for when searching men online you ask? Well, glad you asked! 

I am a sucker for a cute face, so hands down that is what catches my attention first. Next, I'll look at their headline. (A headline is a basic one liner to grab someone's attention in order to get them to view your entire profile.) Next is height. I know, I know...perhaps shallow, but it is what it is, friends. Next, I look at whether or not the man wants children. There, I said it! Children.  I don't know when I want or plan to have these supposed children;  but I need to know the man I end up with is willing to go on that roller-coaster ride with me.

Once the picture, the height and the children aspect line up, I move onto reading the profile. The profile should be witty no matter what.  Also, it should be free of obvious grammar and spelling issues. I say obvious, because I am not an English Scholar; however if this man does not know the difference between there, their and they're....next! 

I also have one rule that I have yet to break and even stopped chatting with someone online when they did this:

-No pictures of a man without a shirt, period.I don't care if you lost 25 pounds 
  and are proud of yourself. Save it.
-No pictures of a man with a horrendous cut out of a woman on his arm. Really? 
  You have no other pictures of yourself? 

So, profile is a GO, pictures are a GO and now communication must be initiated by one of the parties. 

Typically, I enjoy being the receiver in this arena. I know some might be shocked, but I am still a little old-fashioned in that sense. I like an assertive man too, so if I find any interest in him based on his profile and he instigated communication, chances are I will eventually meet this fellow. Now, there have been a handful of times and probably more in the recent months where I will initiate conversation. I am a VERY light in my approach. For instance, I am currently "chatting" to Mr. Sax Man now and the conversation started on my end with a simple, "Happy New Year" email. 

I think we'll leave off here for now, since this blog has officially cut into my plentyoffish.com time. 

Stay tuned for:

Mr. Right-are you online?  


-Part II-dishing about the men I've met online
-Part III-Do's and Don't's of online dating & why I'm doing the online thing.  

Let's end with another Mae West quote:

"A dame who knows the ropes isn't likey to get tied up."


Sweetfully yours, 
Tabitha