It all started sometime my sophomore year at Eagle Rock High School. Would circa 1993 work here? I was walking into my my dreaded algebra class when I spotted Yvette. She was a doll, so out of curiosity I asked about her green eyes with a quick, “Are those your real eyes?” She huffed a swift, “I wish!” and scurried off after slamming her locker shut. EW! Not a great first impression at all.
My knack for holding a grudge was at its peak in high school, so I didn’t mind that I never saw her again until the first day of our senior year in 1995. I walked into first period, and there she was. Walked into second period and there she was. This continued throughout the day because we had all but one class together. I’ll admit, as I walked into each class that day I definitely had a “not you again!” look on my face. Finally, the day was ending and I was walking into 6th period, Play Production, in the auditorium.
Why I was taking Play Production, I have no idea.
I walked into class and was relieved to see someone I knew, good old Nathan. As I made my way in his direction I saw someone else doing the same. Yes, HER! I just couldn’t catch a break on that first day of my senior year, right? Perhaps Yvette can better fill in the details of what that first conversation consisted of because to me it seemed like after that meeting we were inseparable the rest of our senior year.
Yvette and I could easily be described as polar opposites at the time. My idea of fun was listening to Power 106, a radio station heavily influenced by hip hop and rap, going to Highland Park backyard parties, ditching school, chasing boys and pretty much being a party monster. Yvette liked Tori Amos, who I had never heard of. Yvette “cut bangs” over our holiday break, which I didn’t understand until she took her headband off and showed me her teeny tiny short bangs. Yvette also had the most amazing family who embraced me from the beginning.
I think our commonalities consisted of our biting tongues, sarcastic senses of humor and someone named Marcy. Love you Marcy! Our idea of fun was going to Tony Roma’s, ordering take-out (we didn’t want anyone seeing us with BBQ sauce all over our faces, of course!), jumping on the RTD (that’s public transportation, folks!), smelling all the yummy ingredients pouring out of the bag, then setting up eating trays at my house and watching MTV. You know, when music videos still actually aired.
It was those experiences that solidified our friendship and made all of our opposites seem unmentionable.
Yvette and I were such good friends that when it came to taking the next step in our lives, moving out of our parents homes, we took it together. Somehow in my mind, I needed to buy a car before I could move out on my own-to buy groceries. I bought a lemon for 500 cash without considering that I didn’t know how to drive, didn’t have a driver’s license, registration or insurance. These were all tiny details. Oh, and never mind the one major detail-Yvette was pregnant. The father of her soon to be child was in the Army, so I guess you can say I became her baby daddy for a short period of time. So much so that I was one of the women in the room with Yvette when she gave birth to her first son, Justin. I always joke and say it was the best birth control I’ve ever had, but in all sincerity, it’s up there with one of best
experiences of my life. Ummm, minus the smell of iodine and blood. Just keeping it real, people.
As we grew older, life certainly began to take control and the moments we were able to spend with each other began to dissipate. Our friendship went through growing pains, we fought, we planned baby showers, we disagreed, we planned bachelorette parties, we unintentionally hurt each others feelings, we cried about real heartbreak; like divorce and losing the man I thought was “the one”, we sat on the phone during entire episodes of “The Simple Life”, we laughed about the past, had CD nights, danced
to the entire “Chicago” soundtrack, went to Hawaii, gained weight, somehow migrated our taste in music and witnessed some awesome live bands, lost weight and most importantly, we’ve
realized together that we are REAL grown up women with Costco memberships, a tax guy for Yvette and in my case, a cleaning lady.
In a lot of ways, I still feel like the same girl who moved out at 19 with my pregnant friend, but reality says I’m not.
I’m a woman now. Yikes!
Life in my twenties was a whirlwind and definitely helped shape my “womanliness.” After a monogamous relationship in my early twenties I quickly became a serial dater for the majority of my twenties. I lived in various places throughout Los Angeles, alone and with roommates. I moved around A LOT. I think I counted nine different moves from ages nineteen to thirty. I liked moving. To me, moving signified change and gave me an opportunity to correct bad habits (which I had a lot of) and create a better living situation.
I was always searching for something in my twenties-always.
I was happy, but not intrinsically happy. (Talk about a bad day when that self revelation was made!) For this reason, I was bursting out of my skin and SO ready for thirty. Yvette helped me plan a 30th b-day bash. It was a Moroccan theme, naturally! (A theme is usually required in my party world.) We bought vibrant colored curtains and hung them from beams at the party location, played my favorite Bollywood film, "Devdas."
Something really magical happened when I turned 30-I started baking.
In my world that was magical since the only thing I had mastered in my baking life were Pumpkin Rolls. Now, I’ve heard of a woman's biological clock ticking at 30, but baking? Really? I mean, I literally woke up one day and had a burning desire to bake a red velvet cake- from scratch. Who does that? I’m grateful to my family for eating that cake on Thanksgiving because as beautiful as it was, I don’t think my first try was very amazing. (Gotta love my Colombians!)
During that year I also decided it was time to move, yet again. I had manifested the perfect place for a while, and finally the opportunity presented itself in May of 2008. I moved back to Atwater Village (yippee!) with two new roommates, my dog Diva (RIP) and one of my roommates dogs, Loyd. No matter what drama ensued by having three dynamic women living in one house, for the first time in my life it left like HOME. During this time, the domestic goddess in me really began to flourish. She was bigger than me at times! Halloween was now a time for outdoor spider webs, spooky jack-o-lanterns, indoor decorations and candles galore. Oh, and Christmas- I had my first Christmas tree and decorations set-up, outdoor Christmas lights and made my own wreath. Thank you Martha Stewart! Let’s not forget my Diana Krall and Billy Idol Christmas carol CD’s, cooking classes at the local community college and the formal dinner I planned for 20 of my closest friends and family. My inner domestic goddess was busy!
Today, I am days away from my 33rd birthday and still live at “home” in Atwater Village (Yippee!). Yes, a (Yippee!) will follow after each Atwater Village mention. I have 2 new housemates and 2 new doggies in my life-Carlos & Dawna are the roommates and Mia & Oscar are the dogs. I have a full-time career and I have a vision board that I believe is manifesting itself right now. I am finally ready for a healthy committed relationship; however only seem to bump into men like, Mr. Come Over, I am finally resurrecting my financial situation with a financial life coach after having my blinders on during my twenties, and lastly after painfully losing some needed “fluff” (aka weight), by consuming 1400 calories a day, I am constantly struggling with my love for our DVR and taking a spin class. On any given day it’s a toss up on who wins, really.
History has taught me that self-preservation is the way to go. Writing a candid blog with personal information about oneself is just an awful idea, right? Well, here’s to saying, I’m writing my own NEW history and as my best friend has taught me to say “Go Big or Go Home.” I’m going Big. I hope someone out there will appreciate or relate to my vulnerability, rawness, love for baking, cooking
and entertaining along with my sometimes distorted and warped perception of life enough to come back for another dose of my reality.
After all, as Marilyn Monroe once said, “Beneath the makeup and behind the smile I am just a girl who wishes for the world.”
After all, as Marilyn Monroe once said, “Beneath the makeup and behind the smile I am just a girl who wishes for the world.”
Sweetfully yours,
Tabitha
Tabitha
