Confessions of a single woman

Posted by Tabitha 

Yes, I am single.

No boyfriend, but not due to lack of trying. I mean that in the most non-desperate “Universe, please send me a man!” kinda way.

No children that I know of. Oh wait…that doesn’t work for women.  

No husband since a boyfriend is needed first.  In this country at least. Plus, I don’t know if I want to get married-today. I could change my mind tomorrow though. (That's a whole other blog)

What I do have is a full-time career, a blooming side business, a need to exercise at least 2-3 times a week, a weekly meeting with my financial coach extraordinaire, weekly business meetings with a strong group of women, dates with potential, a dog to care for, Taby Time, reading, blogging, baking, facebooking (just keeping it real) and somehow manage to spend some quality time with those I love and love me back.

Sadly, I fall short on the quality time aspect at times. Lately, it seems like even more. I feel incredibly guilty and it really does take its toll on me. I joke and say I have a black heart, but really I’m probably one of the most sensitive people I know. I just hide it really well from most people or act out in the most cranky way.  

Now don’t get crazy, people. I will deny the sensitive accusation should you ever say it to my face. You might even get a dirty look. Just sayin.  

Right now, I know I’ve hurt someone’s feelings by not meeting the expectations they have of me and my time. Not only does it make me come face-to-face with my need to improve my "quality time time management skills", but it makes me think about all the other people I have neglected in the past few months and even year. All of a sudden I feel like I’m trying to eat an elephant in one bite and I’m completely overwhelmed.

But where do I start? A phone call? An email? A blog? A cupcake? A flower?Acknowledgment?

Hmmm...an apology? 

No, because logically they have to know that even though I don’t have a child, husband or boyfriend they must know I’m taking care of me, right? I'm filling that child/husband/boyfriend time up with other goodness that fulfills me and makes me happy. Geez..am I being selfish? Should I be the one extending myself because I’m single? Does my busy schedule not entitle me the desire to also receive the phone call, email, blog, cupcake or flower?

I’m stuck. I’d love any suggestions from the married and single readers out there because I know BALANCE is a universal word.  

Sweetfully yours, 

Tabitha

Mr. Right-are you Online? Part II

posted by Tabitha 

I've never been a fan of the Lottery, gambling or those silly scratchers offering millions of dollars to people willing to waste 1 dollar. No offense to the gamblers out there. 

Now, I won't say that I've never gambled or purchased a silly sratcher, but I can say I have never ever played the lotto on my own. I suppose giving a dollar to a group of friends, co-workers or family might count, but maybe not since I only did because I didn't want to be left out if they won. Hmmm, maybe it does count?  No, no..it doesn't. 

Anyhow, imagine my suprise when I started to recently equate online dating with the lotto and realized that I've been playing for quite a while. The way I see it, the only way to win the dating lotto is to play the dating lotto. So, I guess you can say I'm in it to win it these days. 

Now, for those of you who play the lotto you know that there are times that not even ONE number comes up; however something happens and although you may have felt horribly rejected there you are in the line the next day ready to play again. 

We call this practice for the real thing, right?

In the dating lotto, one must also be prepared for the loses. Especially since each loss should (in my world of skittles and rainbows!) get you one step closer to hitting the dating jackpot. The only thing left to do after such loses is take a quite introspective view of the date, tell your closest girlfriends, move on and use the information for a blog. 

Let's take a quick look at the loses:

-Mr. Colombia: Best case scenario he lied about his profession and living situation and worst case scenario he was married and probably had body parts under his bed. Plus, he lied about his height.

-The Wolf:called himself the “wolf” and quickly proclaimed that he wanted to “eat me.”

-The Splasher-said he loved the rain. (Me too!) Then went on and on about how he would go out of his way to intentionally splash people with street puddles in his lifted truck because, “they should know better than to walk near puddles.”  Ummm…Karma?

-The Closer (formally known as Master Gemini): wanted to know everything about me instantly including the last time I had hanky panky. (hanky panky is my word…not his)

-Mr. Fog: this guy was in complete fog on what he looked like in person and thought his circa 1990 pictures were adequate reflections.

-The Bore: When I asked what his hobbies and interests were he said, “That’s what I’m trying to figure out.” Yeah…he was 37. 

-The Alchemist: Once again I fell victim to my sarcasm and thought The Alchemist was joking about his travels from Texas, Mexican officials chasing him and his life on the run. Now, a public speaker and self-help guru I decided to pass after I was added to his mass emailing list of daily inspiration according to him. 

-Houdini:Houdini seemed like a decent person. So much so that I introduced him to some friends. On that night he decided to reveal to me that he was with his friends the evening before as they partook in some illegal drug activity as he "watched." Hmm. I stated my opinion on the matter after he asked and a day later he disappeared never to be heard from again. Not a loss, really.

Of course, I have met some men that I felt a connection with and for reason A, B or C they just weren't that into me. Those situations are much harder to get over but eventually I do. It is the nature of the dating lotto. 

Today, Mr. Saxx Man (refer back to Part I) is someone who has captured my attention. The experience has been natural, fun and easy. 

So, why am I looking for Mr. Right online? Check back for Part III and I'll tell you. 

Sweetfully yours, 

Tabitha

Driving etiquette please!

posted by Yvette

I have this little rule. Be nice on the road. We’ve all got somewhere to be, none of us like to be sitting in traffic for goodness knows how long. The fact is, most of the time we have to be in our car trying to get to the next place, we don’t want to be. So why is everyone so rude?!?
If I see a car trying desperately to get into my lane, I let them in. Who knows, maybe they need to get to their family or a meeting.
So do me a favor, after every car before me ignored you and didn't let you into the lane that I just did - wave a little thank you, will ya?
After all, I have somewhere to be too!

Sweetfully yours,

Yvette

Career Woman

posted by Yvette

What does it mean to be a career woman?

You automatically think of the stereotype that is often portrayed in media as a briefcase carrying, suit wearing woman who for some reason seems to always wear glasses. Is that what it takes to be a “career woman”?

Do you need to work 50 plus hours a week?  And why is this woman always in a rush???

For some time I thought I wanted to be that successful career woman. I thought I wanted to work my way up in a big corporation. I’m not sure why I ever thought that I would want that.  I’ve never been one to like too much structure. Beside that, sitting at a desk all day has made my butt too big….

What if I don’t work in an office? What if I don’t work 50 hour weeks?

I like to wear dresses with leggings and little flats, not slacks and heels.

I want to carry my etsy bought computer bag, not a fancy briefcase. Does this mean I can’t be a career woman?

I thought about it.

I think that if you start a business with a partner, you’ve got a pretty good chance at being a career woman.

Right?

I know there are going to be late nights and we probably will be running to meetings… But isn’t it sweet (pun intended) to do it for something you love to do?

I think I still want to be a career woman, but I’m going to do it in legging and ballet flats!

Sweetfuly yours,

Yvette

Cry me a River( once a month)

Posted by Tabitha

Today I felt like crying the kind of cry that happens once a month.  (Ladies, you know what this means.) I wanted to cry, but didn't really have anything to cry about. No drama, no daunting tasks, good health, great living situation and well...you get the point. So, why the sads? Why the need to cry?

What could I even cry about?

Hmm...I searched and searched, but nothing. Nothing to cry about. 

So-I sat there at my desk, at work, and finally cried. What did I reach for? I thought about my lovely dog Diva who I had to send off last year. Well, I DO miss her! And well, I needed something to real cry about. I mean, who just needs to cry, right?

Right?

Then, I laughed at myself...out loud.

Ah, to be a woman.

Sweetfully yours,
Tabitha 

Mr. Right-are you Online? Part I

Posted by Tabitha 

I'm pretty sure I'm one of the first in my group of friends to start dating online, or at least willing to talk about the way I would talk about how my day was. Hmm, that might make me the Mae West of online dating, I'm thinking. Yeah, I'll wear that title.

With that being said, let us begin with Part I of my online dating experience. Oh, and just like Mae West said:



"It's hard to be funny when you have to be clean."

However, I will do my best. 


I started on Criagslist right before my 28th birthday.  Who knew that on craigslist not only could  one find a vintage purse, but also an uninitiated man who thinks any woman would like to see a unsolicited picture of his manhood. Needless to say, I didn't last on craigslist very long. Especially after my friends stopped appreciating the surprise pictures I would send them of my new acquaintances and their packages.  



Yes, men...we do this. The difference is you aren't Brett Farve, so I highly doubt you'll have a penalty to pay. 


I then ventured onto Match.com then later Eharmony.com. Actually, I attempted  Eharmony first, but after what seemed like days upon days of questions by the site I grew restless and bored and moved onto Match.com instead.

As of today, I am on Plentyoffish.com., which is a free dating website. After some of the dating disasters I've had I just couldn't believe I was paying money to have these experiences.  It made me feel cheap.

Hmm, in retrospect perhaps it was worth the money for blogging material. 




Ok, so for those of you who haven't tried online dating, or are too ashamed to admit it (hello, it's 2011 people. Oh, but I'm not judging.) let me walk through a quick online dating set-up:

The first step is setting up a profile. This is the ME, ME, ME part; however it is not the "hopes and dreams" section, ladies.  It's the short, sweet and simple section. This is where I engage a man just enough to contact me AFTER he has looked at my pictures for his approval. Now, it took me some time to learn the tricks of the trade on my profile; however after having a oh so clever friend helped me, I believe I finally nailed it. Apparently, in her words my profile was better suited to attract a woman. Yup, that is when wit and K.I.S.S. entered my online dating life.

Speaking of pictures-SO vital to the online dating experience. 

It's called Window Shopping and we need to just deal with that shallow reality.  


Pictures MUST be current. I mean, current as in weeks or days old and I even include the date as a backup. Also, full body pictures are a must. I am the self-proclaimed queen of the "kissy face", "facebook profile picture" or "look how hot I am from this angle" picture, but a full body picture is imperative no matter what. The last time I was called "skinny" was when I was perhaps 21 years old, therefore I need my date to know he is getting a woman with curves. Picture frauds are the worst, believe me. 


So, what am I looking for when searching men online you ask? Well, glad you asked! 

I am a sucker for a cute face, so hands down that is what catches my attention first. Next, I'll look at their headline. (A headline is a basic one liner to grab someone's attention in order to get them to view your entire profile.) Next is height. I know, I know...perhaps shallow, but it is what it is, friends. Next, I look at whether or not the man wants children. There, I said it! Children.  I don't know when I want or plan to have these supposed children;  but I need to know the man I end up with is willing to go on that roller-coaster ride with me.

Once the picture, the height and the children aspect line up, I move onto reading the profile. The profile should be witty no matter what.  Also, it should be free of obvious grammar and spelling issues. I say obvious, because I am not an English Scholar; however if this man does not know the difference between there, their and they're....next! 

I also have one rule that I have yet to break and even stopped chatting with someone online when they did this:

-No pictures of a man without a shirt, period.I don't care if you lost 25 pounds 
  and are proud of yourself. Save it.
-No pictures of a man with a horrendous cut out of a woman on his arm. Really? 
  You have no other pictures of yourself? 

So, profile is a GO, pictures are a GO and now communication must be initiated by one of the parties. 

Typically, I enjoy being the receiver in this arena. I know some might be shocked, but I am still a little old-fashioned in that sense. I like an assertive man too, so if I find any interest in him based on his profile and he instigated communication, chances are I will eventually meet this fellow. Now, there have been a handful of times and probably more in the recent months where I will initiate conversation. I am a VERY light in my approach. For instance, I am currently "chatting" to Mr. Sax Man now and the conversation started on my end with a simple, "Happy New Year" email. 

I think we'll leave off here for now, since this blog has officially cut into my plentyoffish.com time. 

Stay tuned for:

Mr. Right-are you online?  


-Part II-dishing about the men I've met online
-Part III-Do's and Don't's of online dating & why I'm doing the online thing.  

Let's end with another Mae West quote:

"A dame who knows the ropes isn't likey to get tied up."


Sweetfully yours, 
Tabitha

Sweet Connections

Ever wondered how Sweetfully Ever After conducts business while working full-time jobs, having children, dating, baking, coordinating charity events, holidays and basic lives? It’s called Blackberry and Iphone! Below is a sample straight out of an email between Sweetfully Ever After ladies Tabitha & Yvette.

Tabitha

I can’t believe so much time has gone by since our last blog, right? I have come to the conclusion that my blogging mojo is directly connected to my spin mojo. Therefore, if my Spin class is missed then there is no blogging juice.  What’s your excuse? Ummm, and 5 children is not an excuse! (Ok, it is!) So really, what’s up?

By the way-do you have the toppers made for the Classroom Cupcakes yet? This month’s Sweet is (Drum Roll, please) Vanilla Cupcakes with White Chocolate Butter cream frosting. Yummo! Oh, and of course we have miniature cupcakes for those watching there figures.

Yvette
I know, it's been much too long since our last post! I have to figure out a way to carve more time out to write. I already gave up sleep, so I'm not sure what else I can cut back on... It's a toss up between eating and my job. My jeans are telling me to go with option #1.

Speaking of which, miniature cupcake are a perfect way to have a little taste of SEA, without the calories of a full size cupcake! Special order Jumbo size can be a good idea for those who want to send a sweet surprise to someone. It's a perfect size to share too! 3 sizes, are we ready for this? ooooo! Now I get to think of new ways to package these delectable goodies.

The dinosaur toppers are coming along, they are so cute! I'm also working on a few other classroom/kids themes we will be able to soon offer, any ideas on your end?

Tabitha

I don’t know how you do it without sleep, woman! I’m a zombie on crack without sleep. The zombie part is the death look I have on my face and the crack is all the caffeine I ingest! Yikes! Hmmm, creative ways to carve time out? Have you tried maybe your lunch time or break time? (ummm, who even has breaks?) Haha..do you even have a lunch time? That’s what I’m thinking about doing in the new year. I’ll take my Mac Daddy to work and blog at my lunch time. 

OH! I love your jumbo size cupcake idea! I’m on it! 

As far as ideas I’m on idea overload! I already have an idea for the February sweet too! I’ve decided to put my anti-Valentine’s stance to a rest and give in! Well, not that I’m really against Valentine’s Day…just against NOT having a Valentine! Anyhow, back to idea overload. Geesh! I had no idea so much could  be done in the small wrapper of a cupcake….amazing!

Yvette
I've come to get used to minimal sleep. When i do sleep, I dream of the day we open our little shop :) I'm such a cheese ball! haha!
Lunch? Like at work? As in leaving my desk to go eat? People do that? :)
mac daddy? I love it! Joe calls my mac my boyfriend. haha!

Alright, so cupcake in 3 sizes. Let me think about packaging and I'll share some ideas with you. I may need your help to narrow them down, you know how crazy I can get with this kind of stuff.
 

Valentines Day? I'm still basking the the thought that the holidays are over, don't remind me that's coming up! Wait, did you say you have our flavor for February, already?
Cupcake sizes, classroom cupcakes, Valentines Day and our February flavor... Sounds like a meeting is in order! Virtual meeting sometime this week? Anytime after 8 works for me.

Tabitha 
I like you're dream so keep it alive! Yeah, I had a feeling you didn't know what lunch was. Just so you know, there WILL be a lunch time when we open our shop. It's the law...

Yes, February cupcake was established while I was getting my hair done a couple weeks ago. I multitask too! I just make sure I get sleep. ;)

Virtual meeting for sure! Let's set it up for tomorrow. Say 9:30? Your boyfriend and my Mac Daddy will connect. Friday I'm going to Friday Nights at the Museum to see Little Dragon. Have you heard of them? I'm loving them lately. Oh, and tonight you ask? Well, I'm typing your from bed while I'm drinking an Emergen-Cee, I already took 2000 milligrams of Vitamin C, drank OJ and put tons of lemon in my spicy soup before my nap when I got home. Yes...I am fighting a cootie again. You know, having roommates is not much different than having children during flu season. Once one catches it, you all catch it. Anyhow, I am fighting this with every ounce I have because tomorrow I WILL be better.  

Yvette
Tomorrow at 9:30 it is. Feel better!