Posted by Tabitha
Yes, I am single.
No boyfriend, but not due to lack of trying. I mean that in the most non-desperate “Universe, please send me a man!” kinda way.
No children that I know of. Oh wait…that doesn’t work for women.
No husband since a boyfriend is needed first. In this country at least. Plus, I don’t know if I want to get married-today. I could change my mind tomorrow though. (That's a whole other blog)
What I do have is a full-time career, a blooming side business, a need to exercise at least 2-3 times a week, a weekly meeting with my financial coach extraordinaire, weekly business meetings with a strong group of women, dates with potential, a dog to care for, Taby Time, reading, blogging, baking, facebooking (just keeping it real) and somehow manage to spend some quality time with those I love and love me back.
Sadly, I fall short on the quality time aspect at times. Lately, it seems like even more. I feel incredibly guilty and it really does take its toll on me. I joke and say I have a black heart, but really I’m probably one of the most sensitive people I know. I just hide it really well from most people or act out in the most cranky way.
Now don’t get crazy, people. I will deny the sensitive accusation should you ever say it to my face. You might even get a dirty look. Just sayin.
Right now, I know I’ve hurt someone’s feelings by not meeting the expectations they have of me and my time. Not only does it make me come face-to-face with my need to improve my "quality time time management skills", but it makes me think about all the other people I have neglected in the past few months and even year. All of a sudden I feel like I’m trying to eat an elephant in one bite and I’m completely overwhelmed.
But where do I start? A phone call? An email? A blog? A cupcake? A flower?Acknowledgment?
Hmmm...an apology?
No, because logically they have to know that even though I don’t have a child, husband or boyfriend they must know I’m taking care of me, right? I'm filling that child/husband/boyfriend time up with other goodness that fulfills me and makes me happy. Geez..am I being selfish? Should I be the one extending myself because I’m single? Does my busy schedule not entitle me the desire to also receive the phone call, email, blog, cupcake or flower?
I’m stuck. I’d love any suggestions from the married and single readers out there because I know BALANCE is a universal word.
Sweetfully yours,
Tabitha
No you are not being selfish! Just b/c you don't currently have a boyfriend/husband/child does not mean that your time to do as you please is less valuable than those who have a boyfriend/husband/child. DO NOT FEEL GUILTY! I REPEAT, DO NOT FEEL GUILTY! Being a spouse and a new mother (okay, not so new, but fairly new), my time is filled with spouse and mommy duties, such as feeding my son, changing his diaper, doing the laundry, tidying up, etc. It really is not different from you filling your time with activities that keep you busy, whatever they may be. Which brings me to your question, "Should I be the one extending myself b/c I'm single?", and the answer is "N to the O". What you do with your time is just as precious with what I do with my time, whatever it may be, regardless of the situations we are currently in. So we both need to extend that phone call, text messages, emails, facebooking, or whichever your fancy to let that other person know that "I do care about you & how you are doing and what's new in your life".
ReplyDeleteI will admit that I have faltered with the exchange in communication, but I am working on it b/c "I do care about you & how you are doing and what's new in your life".
nope... you should not feel like you are being selfish.
ReplyDeletebtw, enjoyed this post. :)